Golden Birthday Adventure Wrap-Up: Goodbye South, Goodbye House

The time has come, my little friends, to talk of other things

Of shoes and ships and sealing wax, of cabbages and kings…

Alice in Wonderland

I am the Walrus! No I’m not, just kidding. I is not the Walrus BUT I do love a little rhyme-time here and there and I thought the beginning of the Walrus’s poem from Alice in Wonderland was just way too apropos for this moment.

Because its true. Its time for me to wrap-up my little back down South adventure series and get back to blaggin’ about my usual nonsense. However, before we depart entirely (and trust me we are departing ENTIRELY in the next post featuring a little story about a trip I took to the Kardashian end-all-be-all Mecca aka their LA Dash store) I’d like to wrap up my ‘back down South’ adventure by sharing a few more precious moments.

No, not referring to the giftware collection of precious moments porcelain figurines. Think its safe to say I’m done with any small porcelain figurines for the time being…but YA’LL GET EXCITED FOR CHRISTMAS CLOWNVENTION 2K12.

I’m no expert but IS this moment really “precious”?

Anyway, on with the show! So once again, lets get cooky y’all.

15 GOLDEN NUGGETS FROM MY GOLDEN BIRTHDAY ADVENTURE DOWN SOUTH:

NUGGET #1:

Hanging with these two yahoos, Mumsie and Popsicle.

Not going home for 9 months is just the worst HOWEVER there are minor perks. Like my parents being so friggin’ excited to see me that they create a fun filled agenda of field trips and activities. They wore me out.

NUGGET #2:

THIS.

BECAUSE ITS SUPER MAGICAL AND DOES NOT HAPPEN IN CALIFORNIA. Basically its water that falls from the sky but Missygurl told me the technical term for it is “rain” and that she “is sick of putting up with it.”

NUGGET #3:

Going to ‘Hokus Pokus Liquor.’ Okay, I’ve got to break this one down for you guys.

  1. ‘Hokus Pokus’ is spelled with K’s. For why? Well I don’t know but I like it Mr. Rebel Speller Liquor Shop Owner.
  2. The sign says to go here if you need a ‘Spiritual Advisor.’ Spiritual Advisor at a ‘spirits’ store? What a play on words! Once again, I like it Mr. Clever Liquor Shop Owner
  3. Is it just me or does the ‘ghost,’ with his arms spread out wide and his legs a-danglin’ so he is in the shape of, let’s just say a “T,” look familiar? What are you trying to tell me Mr. Liquor Shop Owner? Should I take this as a sign of some sort?
  4.  Whilst picking out a t-shirt to purchase (OBVIOUSLY GOTTA BUY THE T-SHIRT FROM HOKUS POKUS SPELLED WITH SOME Ks) an older and very tan lady with mousey blonde hair shooting off in every direction walked up to me and asked, “Do you work here or what?” I guess I’m going to go with “or what?” She seemed pissed and started muttering under her breath so obviously I took this opportunity to get out the old iPhone notes app and follow her around the store.

Does anyone work here?! Who works here!? You work here. Come here you. I need some help.

Ohhh yes ma’am. You said it, however, I think the liquor store is probably not where you’re going to find the kind of “help” you need. In fact, its probably exactly the opposite of where you’re going to find it.

She orders the liquor store cashier to follow her. She leads us to an aisle, starts pointing every which way then says…

Now listen. I don’t like coffee.

Good. Not a coffee shop ma’am. We are on the right track.

BUT I like coffee if it has liquor in it. Pacifically, tequila.

I’m sorry, Pacifically? Is this some sort of Tequila from the Pacific Ocean? And should I even begin to open up commentary on the fact that you’re mixing coffee (a drink you don’t like…) with tequila? So you’re basically just accessorizing your alcohol habit? No? Oh okay my bad. Please continue.

And I want a good tequila. I want one that works.

WAIT WHAT, MOUSEY HAIRED HOMEGURL? WHEN DOES TEQUILA EVER NOT WORK?! IT ALWAYS WORKS. TRUST ME.

And I want one that comes in a good box and imma take that box home with me and I’m gunna use it at Chrismahtime to gift wrap some socks.

So we didn’t ask but thanks for volunteering that sock information because now we are super curious. The equally intrigued liquor store guy asks her what exactly does she mean when she says she is going to gift wrap socks in a tequila box.

It means exactly what I just said. I’m gunna put socks in this box and someone is gunna get it all gift wrapped at Chrismahtime and they going tah thinks its tequila but its not going tah be tequila its going tah be socks. I’m gunna deceive them.

Cue both myself and the liquor store guy doing the ole cocked head eye squint as we think this one through.

Then I get it and it all comes full circle. Hokus Pokus. Spirits. Witchcraft. ECETRA. She’s obviously a witch. A ‘deceiving’ witch, no less. And in that case, you go gurl! But please don’t attempt to operate a motor vehicle.

Stick to the broom, Hermoine.

NUGGET #4:

Many-a-local telling me how horrible the Lafayette traffic is.

Good one, you guys. Hysterical, in fact, considering Los Angeles Traffic is killing me softly with his song.

NUGGET #5:

While on the topic of driving… We all know my loyalties lie with her majesty, my BFF the Pretty Pretty Alien Princess Prius BUT it was pretty yahdorable when Missygurl introduced me to her new car, “Pretty Prius’s big sister the Toyota Venza of Venus.” So my mom not only joins in on the insanity but now we also have a family of cars from outerspace.

What did your mom do today?

NUGGET #6:

Whilst getting my teeth cleaned getting asked where I went to school. I told her I went to ESA for high school and then Vanderbilt. The teeth cleaning lady said she didn’t know Vanderbilt was a boarding school.

‘HUH?’

I tell her its a college so, yeah, I guess in a way its kinda like a boarding school.

Her turn for a big ‘HUH?’

Sure enough, after much explaining on both her and my part, she had never heard of a university called ‘Vanderbilt’ (with a ‘R’) and thought I said I went to Vandebilt (no ‘R’) which is a Catholic high school in Thibodeaux, Louisiana and definitely not a boarding school.

Guys, I can’t even…I mean…But I already said I went to ESA for high school so why would I…So you thought I…But seriously, ya’ll…I mean…VANDERBILT IS IN THE FREAKING SEC.

WHY?!

Go Dores

NUGGET #7:

Judice Inn. Yes, on my birthday too no less. I know not everyone will get this, heck I don’t even really get it, but these tiny, not necessarily super appetizing looking burgers from this tiny, hole-in-the-wall restaurant are magical. Sometimes I dream about eating them and then wake up and realize I’m 2,000+ miles away. And guess what? IN-N-OUT AIN’T GOT SHIT ON JUDICE INN.

Favorite meal. On my birthday. BOOM. DONE. COUNT IT.

NUGGET #8:

Any and every time I got asked any of the following questions:

  • Does it REALLY never rain in California or are they just saying that?
  • Do you know any celebrities?
  • But just how poor are you?
  • Do you drive a Prius?
  • How big is your bedroom?
  • Does anyone out there eat Chick Fil A?
  • Do you know any homeless people?
  • Do you know anyone who has a marijuana card?
  • Do you know ANY Republicans?
  • How many asian people do you know?
  • Is everyone out there gay?
  • I bet you drive a Prius, don’t you?
  • Are you sure about this whole “California” thing?

And my favorite, “So when are you moving back?”

NOPE. IN IT TO WIN IT, YOU GUYS, IN IT TO WIN IT.

ALSO, just to be fair to my Louisianians, the Californians ask me some pretty ridiculous questions too. My favorite to date?

“Do you really like eating those little red roach things?”

Took me a while to figure out what exactly I was being asked but, yes, I do enjoy eating crawfish.

NUGGET #9:

Going to a 10 PM movie with my best friend, Goose. Super excited when we arrive and see no one else in the theater. BUT SUPER BUMMED to see we are late and the movie already started. What’s a girl to do? Easy. Just go ask the theater to restart it. Tell them you’re in from California for just a few days, all you want to do is see this movie and ITS YOUR 24TH BIRTHDAY!

But didn’t you just show us a student ID from Vanderbilt in Tennessee?

Oh, you’ve heard of Vanderbilt?! Finally someone has heard of… NO WAIT THATS BESIDE THE POINT PLEASE JUST RESTART THE MOVIE FOR MY BIRTHDAY.

Dazzle, distract, make the movie lady forget about the Student ID fib.

She obliges. Goose and I enjoy a nice bottle of cabernet sauvignon I snuck into the movie via my oversized purse.

But then I fall asleep for the last 15 minutes of the movie. DAMNIT. FOILED AGAIN.

To be honest Gus and I were probably late for the movie because we were trying to teach Lincoln how to take selfies beforehand.

 

NUGGET #10:

Got my eyes dilated. Pretended I was Gaga on the streets of Lafayette in the stunner shades the Optometrist provided me with.

NUGGET #11:

Being a child again– aka not having to drive or pay for things or worry about the electricity bill running all day or any other nonsense adult things I have to put up with whilst being a nonsense adult thing in Los Angeles. However mother did keep me on my toes by making me do some manual labor and, keeping up the whole “Imma Kid Again” charade, I pitched a minor fit. Missygurl documented the event.

Fat dachshunds laughed at me.

NUGGET #12:

Stopped by Lake Charles for a quick visit with my grandparents, affectionately referred to as Ganny and Podge.

Let me just say my Podge has always been a boss. Football coach turned principal and father of 4 has worked his entire life and now he just can’t stop. He tried retirement. It did not work. So where does he choose to spend his days? The funeral home.

Yes, the funeral home. Ohhh and he thinks its hilarious too. Makes jokes about how he is going to end up there one day anyway so he’s “just getting comfortable.” Anyways, he told me he was sitting in the back pew during a funeral service recently and a now middle aged man who had played on his football team back in the day walked up to him and said, “Coach Moore I thought you were already dead!” My grandfather decided this was a prime opportunity to play ‘Ghost of Football Coach Past.’

And you thought I was goofy.

NUGGET #13:

Also while at my grandparents house I took the time to peruse some old photos and I have just one question.

DO WE LEARN NOTHING FROM OUR OWN EXPERIENCES, MOTHER?!

Young Wilhelmina, left. Young Missygurl, right.

Guys. How in the world could Missygurl (aka my mother) let this haircut happen to me when she went through the same torture herself? It just doesn’t make sense.

NUGGET #14:

My Louisiana sky, ya’ll.

I mean really.

NUGGET #15:

Last but not least, we’re gunna get real y’all…

When my parents said they bought me a plane ticket home for my birthday I was ecstatic, HOWEVER, I soon found out that free trip home came with a twist. Mumsie and Popsicle wanted me back in Louisiana to not only celebrate my 24th year on Earth but also to pack up my worldly possessions.

Yup, they decided to move out of the house I grew up in and they needed me to prance on over from California so that I could go through my old stuff and put it in boxes. I see what you did there parents…even wooed me with first class plane tickets. Very. Clever.

Now we’re all adults here and I get it. It just doesn’t make sense for them to stay in the house. Its too big and they want to be able to travel more and be able to visit my sister and I more without being too tied down in Louisiana. Makes sense, right? I can be reasonable about them moving, right? I can totally be an adult about this decision, right?

Google Earthed my own house. That’s whats up.

Wrong again, Willy.

And here is the ridiculous part. Take a guess when it hit me that I was really saying goodbye to the house I grew up in.

Maybe when I was driving away for the last time?

Perhaps when I walked out the door for the last time?

When I packed the last box?

While I was taking one last photograph of my bedroom?

Nope.

In true Queen Wilhelmina fashion it hit me whilst on the throne.

Yes, while peeing for the last time in the toilet of my youth. I just completely broke down.

Nothing like a good pee to get those emotions out, y’all.

So there I was…yes, number one-ing…and, yes, sobbing…in the bathroom of my childhood and my mother comes running up to my room because she hadn’t heard me cry like that since circa 96′ when I busted my chin open doing one legged “flamingo” spins on the freshly mopped flower store linoleum floor.

By the time she got upstairs I had taken the time to pull up my pants up and sprawl myself out on the floor of my bedroom. So really putting a dramatic spin on things, Missygurl found me face down and crying like a banshee.

And when she said (read: screamed over my sobbing), “What’s wrong, Mina?” I managed to turn over and really tell her how I was feeling. You know, really use my vocabulary.

“Its just that– MOMMMMMMM.”

Breathe.

Sob.

Try again.

“Mommmmmm it just hit–and–”

Okay, champ, you got it this time.

“But MOOOOOOOMMMMMM this is the exact spot where…I grew up and MOOMMM… this is exactly where I was reading Harry Potter when Dummmmbblllleeedooore diiiiiieeeeeeeed.”

Yeah, so out of all the things I grew up doing in that house and out of all the memories and all the unforgettable times, the first thing that came to mind was that this is where I was when a fictional character died.

Sometimes I just don’t even understand…

But you know what homies? All said and done and sobbed and cried out, I don’t have to understand because I feel pretty great. Do you know what it feels like to be 24 years old, after years of practiced emotions and reigning it all in to “be cool” and then to just LET. IT. ALL. OUT?

I mean really cry like a toddler…?

I highly recommend it once in a while.

I think crying for the house was just an excuse to let go and let myself feel any and everything I was keeping pint up inside. Moreover, now that I’ve let it all out I’m okay with passing the house on to another family– hopefully one that will have as much fun as us Ross’s did.

And as if there was any question, we definitely had a ball.

……………………………………………….

So that’s it. Goodbye South. Goodbye House.

Back to wonderland.

The Golden Birthday Adventure Continues: CLOWN ON THE TOWN

The downside of moving away from home for college and then also career? Not a HUGE abundance of friends back home when I visit. But don’t go feeling sorry for me. I’m no Robin Williams circa 1996’s  Jack– the story of a man-child who lived closed off in his parents home and who the ‘real children’ of the town threw toy eyeballs at.

TEAR. JERKER.

When I’m home I do get looks (but not toy eyeballs) thrown at me but I can kind of understand why people would take a second look at someone perusing the aisles of Target wearing a giant cat face shirt and sporting a massive topknot on toppa yah head.

AND I WILL admit to my lady-child status but, I, unlike Jack, am obviously not afraid to live outside the bounds of my parents’ home. I very much like to venture into the booming metropolis of Lafayette, Louisiana, see what the people are up to and make my own fun AND MY OWN DAMN FRIENDS. And I will tell you exactly how I managed to do so on my latest trip home but, first things first, we got to give my hometown a bit more credit then I’ve been giving it of late. So just for one minute pretend I’m Adele and I’m singing Hometown Glory.

See I just went ahead and made that super easy for you to imagine.

“Rooooooooounnnnnd my HOOOOOOOMMMMMETOOOOWNNN.” – Me as Adele

In all honesty Lafayette really is a fascinating place. It’s full of culture and ambition and music and ideas and even some deep Southern thinkers of the Faulkner and Harper Lee variety. Its a whole different level of realness than whats found outside our parish limits.

Granted, Swamp People is also filmed a mere 30 minutes from my home but what can I say? Win some, lose some and then you “choot em’.”

Yup.

Despite all that good Cajun culture and food for some strange reason one of the HOT SPOTS to be on any given Friday night in Lafayette is a Mexican restaurant called La Fondas. But here’s the thing about La Ronda’s and if no one else will, I’ll say it- the food at La Fah is NOT SO GOOD. So why then do the fine people of Lafayette hit this establishment week after week?

Umm hellur my friends, we’re talking about South Louisiana here. Alcohol. And La Fondues SO kills it in the ‘beverages’ part of their business.

In fact, growing up I had always heard about a famed drink called a mix-up or a halfsies or a twirly whirls or a two colored or something like that. Whatever. I just remember thinking of it as the ‘Red and White’ and hearing it was so magical that you had to be real careful in its presence or it would ‘KNOCK YAH FLAT ON DAH FLO.’

The other thing La Fondies is famed for are the birthday clowns. Say what white gurl? Yeah, I know but hear me out. When you celebrate your birthday at La Fondly’s they always give you a small, adorable and somewhat frightening porcelain clown along with your birthday cake. I really don’t question it. You do your thing La Fonzies and I’ll do mine.

AND YOU KNOW WHAT I DECIDED MY THING WAS GOING TO BE FOR MY 24TH BIRTHDAY DINNER?! YOUR THING, LA JANE FONDAS, YOUR THING. Plans were made to hit La Fondness with my mumsie and popsicle, my second famsies (Mimi and Robert) and, last but certainly not least, THE GREATEST GOOSE IN THE WORLD (Gus). Before we peaced out Mom warned me that I might be overwhelmed by how many people frequent La Donda on a Friday but I figured it would probably be no big thing.

How’d it all go down? Was I overwhelmed? Did I get a clown? Did I get a ‘Red and White’? Well its all kinda blurry BUT THANK MIRACLE BABY JESUS FOR iPhones. Amiright or amiright? Found some pictures the next morning.

So here we go, kiddos. The Search for the Great “Red and White” Begins at the Ross House:

We’re off to a usual start: Gus arrives at the Ross abode. I attempt to frighten him. Gus is not entertained. Missy cannot focus a camera.

Promptly depart (false). Arrive to La Fonderella’s on time (false). Gus still not entertained (true).

Realize Missygurl was not-a-jokin when she said La Fondue would be ‘full of people.’ Overwhelmed. Avoid eye contact.

Maybe there really weren’t that many people there but who knows BECAUSE THE WALLS ARE PAINTED FULL OF FACES TOO. ITS DECEIVING, YOU GUYS.

Must stay focused on the task at hand– putting the myth to rest aka finding the great and powerful ‘Red and White.’

Turns out not to be that hard…

RED. AND. WHITE.

FOUND.

FOUND, LIKE, 3 OR 4 IN ABOUT 30 MINUTES (Oops).

And just like that I’m no longer overwhelmed. Totes making eye-contact and even venture into actually speaking with other human beings. AND THERE ARE JUST SO MANY. Some I recognize from my past as a deviant child, some probably just from Facebook. Point is, I’m feelin’ it, ya’ll. Back down South with my people, ya’ll.

The notorious Keebler of my youth joins the party which, just in case there’s doubt, is now officially in full swing. Gus has become somewhat entertained.

YO HAI GURL.

And then like the fat kid I am, my birth is not celebrated with a cake but with a small chocolate mousse. And apparently you can only have one of those little clown men if you order a cake…

“CALL ME AFTER YOU START A REAL WORKOUT REGIME.” -Cake (the food, not the band)

BUT. THEN.

Cannot contain my excitement. All children in vicinity now fear me.

The usual suspects MAKE. IT. HAPPEN.– Missygurl and Mimi got me a clown.

Remember that episode of Honey Boo Boo Child (the voice of a generation) when HBB was given her pet pig, Glitzy– “the best gay boy pageant pig ever” that she “hope mamma don’t eat, because mamma eat everything. she fat.”? Oh you’re not watching Honey Boo Boo Child? THEN YOU’RE NOT LIVING. THAT CHILD IS BRILLIANT. But the point is, it was just like when HBB got her Glitzy gay boy pageant pig. SO. EXCITED. He can even be my version of Glitzy, the best gay boy pageant porcelain La Fonda’s clown ever if he wants to.

(He wants to)

Best friendship ensues. I provide him a comfortable home in my clutch.

One more ‘Red and White’ later and Porcelain (the Gay Boy Pageant Clown) peeks out of his home to make a point.

“Yo gurl. Its your Golden Birthday. Why are we going home? Let’s hit the town.”

Porcelain devises plan to stop at, ‘Corner Bar.’

I confer with my cohorts and we all agree. We need to go big. #YOLO, right?

So that’s how it happened and here it is my frands. The real excitement of the evening. THE ADVENTURES OF CLOWN ON THE TOWN.

Lets get cooky.

Keebler and I sing to Porcelain once en route to the bar. Clown on the Town LOVES IT/CLAPS ALONG WITH THE BEAT.

Clown on the Town makes grand entrance at Corner Bar. But believe it or not, I make grander entrance as the girl carrying, taking photos of and speaking to a small toy clown.

Clown on the Town attempts to order a drink but cannot get bartender’s attention. I don’t tell him I think his short stature is to blame because I once read in Cosmo that men don’t like being told they are short (I’m sure this theory applies to short toy clown men, as well).

Tiny.

Clown on the Town’s next move proves to me that he really is my kind of people.

Can’t get bartender’s attention? That’s fine. Clown on the Town becomes his own bartender.

Gin and Tonic, please Sir.

Confirmed. Clown on Town makes attempt but has no game with the ladies. Resigns to the life I have given him as my very own ‘gay boy pageant porcelain clown.’ Glitzy and Honey Boo Boo OFFICIALLY have competition.

gAy for effort my little friend.

Grappling with his new sexual identity C on the T would like another Gin and Tonic, puh-lease.

Clown on the Town hearts the G & Ts.

Howyoudoin.

Loving life and fully embracing ‘gay boy pageant clown’ status, Porcelain the now fabulous Clown on the Town adopts Missygurl as his Best Gurlfrand. Like any good gay boy pageant clown, Porcelain encourages Missy to “WORK IT GURL.”

Unzips Missygurl’s top in effort to add, “sass factor.”

Clown on the Town decides some tunes are in order but becomes VERY UPSET when he can not find the dance club remix of, “Send in the Clowns.”

I don’t know what to tell you.

I promise him that we can watch Barbara Streisand’s live performances on YouTube when we get home. He is appeased.

Further distract Clown on the Town from jukebox disappointment by telling him all about sistahgurl, Emily, up in NYC.

Unbeknownst to me as I share “The Best of Emily” stories with Clown on the Town, we gain our first admirer (see: background, button up shirt, victim of camera flash red eyes).
Gus still not at my level of entertained.

Clown on the Town steals my phone. Drunk texts Emily.

“HAI MIMZ, I’M NOT EVEN REAL BUT HERES MY NUMBER FOR GIN AND TONYS NEXT TIME IM IN THE CITAY”

Clown on the Town adventures to Keebler’s chest.

Nope.

Still a gay boy pageant clown and decides he would much rather get the dish from Mimi.

SAY WHAT?!

Uh oh. Time to break the seal. Just hope no one minds my tiny boyfrand joining me in the ladies’ bathroom.

Good news. Bathroom empty. Clown on the Town takes this opportunity to request a quick mirror picture tutorial. SELFIE LESSON!

I oblige. We werqs it.

Can’t decide if we are more vain than Kimye (Kim Kardashian and Kanye)? Tough call

A kind citizen of Lafayette recognizes that it is, in fact, my day of birth. Buys me a drink. Clown on the Town says its “our drink.” Forced sharing.

Good thing I’m nice.

The ‘adults’ decide its their bedtime but before they leave the ‘children’ (and clown) to our own devices Robert offers his law services based on where it looks like our night is heading. We promise to make an effort to not get in trouble.

“The best kind of friend is the kind that will defend you in court.” -Clown on the Town

Don and Missy also reiterate that Clown on the Town needs to behave himself.

AND DON AND MISSY DON’T PLAY.

But then Don sneaks in a high-five, reminds us to #YOLO and promises to pick us up at the end of our shenanigans.

YAH DAD!

Clown on the Town, YOU CANNOT DRIVE TO OUR NEXT LO-CAL. YOU SO STUPID.

MAD AT YOU FOR EVEN THINKING ABOUT IT.

Opts for riding dirty down the boulevard instead. Good second choice.

Do. your. thing.

We arrive at our second Lo-cal and the door guy takes no time letting me know I am insane.

“Thank you for the compliment and can you please provide a wristband for my toy clown too.”

He obliges. Giggles.

Clown on the Town is good to go for Round 2!

Once inside, Clown on the Town makes a few friends and INSISTS on buying the next round.

WAIT ONE MINUTE. YOU’RE A PORCELAIN CLOWN. YOU CAN’T APPLY FOR CREDIT. THAT’S MY CREDIT CARD, YOU LITTLE SHIT.

So apparently Clown on the Town allows me to treat everyone.

TWICE.

Bartender. Again.

Tries cigarettes for the first time.

Goose advises against cigs.

CLOWN ON THE TOWN DON’T CARE.

KNOW WHO ELSE DON’T CARE?

HONEY BADGER.

Clown on the Town thinks this is hilarious…

Also hilarious? KARMA.

CLOWN ON THE TOWN DON’T FEEL GOOD. HOW YOU LIKE THEM CIGS NOW?!

Gus holds Porcelain’s hair back.

BUT DON’T WORRY GUYS. Clown on the Town rallies and heads back to the bar to make more friends.

I honestly have no idea who this man is.

Then things get a little out of hand…

Clown on the Town puts my shoes on.

First my credit card now my shoes?

Clown on the Town tries to kiss me.

I oblige.

Gus? Not so much.

Still homies though.

And they look damn good.

But then Clown on the Town face-plants.

You’re cut off buddy.

Time to go home but we have somehow been locked out.

Dad?

So what are we suppose to do?

3:00 am dachshund playtime, of course.

Ridin’ dirty again.

“Mad at me? Am I in the doghouse?”

DAD FINALLY LETS US IN.

Discover we broke Clown on the Town’s foot. Gus and I feel horrible.

But then Clown on the Town requests tour of Emily’s bedroom– his idol and future best friend.

Gus obliges to make Porcelain feel better about the foot thing.

Swinging from trees.

EXISTENTIAL CRISIS.

THERE ARE MORE CLOWNS.

What the frig?

DONE. GAME OVER. CANNOT HANDLE MULTIPLE CLOWNS. JUST GOING TO SLEEP IT OFF.

But then later finds Gus again and claims to be too scared of the other clowns to sleep in Mimzy’s room.

…………………………….

Next Morning. Hates life. Loves coffee.

And I think its safe to say I am done with Clown on the Town or any clowns for that matter.

…or maybe just beginning?

Time will tell. Maybe next time I am in town and need to entertain myself?

Just a brainstorm: “Send in the Clowns” Christmas 2k12. Christmas Clowns on the Town 2k12. Clowncon 2k12. Christmaclownmas 2k12. Clownvention 2k12. La Clowndas Does Christmas. Clownristmas. Clownventure. Clowntimes.
Yeah, think I’m done. Gunna end it on ‘Clowntimes.’ Great ideas.

W